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The Hummer H2 may not have been designed with Britain’s roads in mind but if you want to create an impact, there’s little to touch it. Andy Enright reports

Drive a Hummer H2 and the responses from passers by range from slack-jawed stupefaction through rabid enthusiasm to sheer disgust. Whatever your take on this leviathan, you’ll certainly find it impossible to ignore. Its sheer bulk, vertiginous frontage and quasi-military presence all combine to acquaint pedestrians with pavement furniture like few other vehicles.

Drawing its influence from the original Humvee military vehicle (HMMWV - a military term for High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle for the curious), the idea for the Hummer H2 was hatched when General Motors bought the AM General Corporation of South Bend, Indiana. This company manufactured Humvee vehicles for the US military and had started selling Hummer versions with slightly more creature comforts to civilians such as Arnold Schwarzenegger. The growth of the high end Sports Utility Vehicle market in the US and the brand equity of the Hummer name made the company an attractive target and in 2002 GM unveiled the Hummer H2 in the US. A loophole on 6000lb+ ‘commercial’ vehicles saw many US business buyers able to tax deduct $38,000 of the car’s $50,000 list price and helped sales skyrocket. No such incentives here but at least British buyers can now purchase an H2 through an official GM importer, priced at either £48,995 or £51,795, depending on whether you opt for either the ‘Adventure’ or the ‘Luxury’ derivative. Based on tried and tested GM mechanicals, the H2 uses a front suspension system similar to a GM Silverado truck while the rear end is similar to a GM half-tonne truck. Weighing in at a gross weight of 3901kg (a Bentley Continental T weighs a full 1,400kg less) and powered by a 393PS 6.1-litre V8, the Hummer H2 takes quite a bit of stopping when it starts moving. It also takes quite a bit of fuel to get it moving, the H2 often dipping into single figure miles per gallon around town. Its Tonka toy looks are unashamedly macho, Hummer backing up the appeal with some gung-ho advertising rhetoric. "In a world where SUVs have begun to look like their owners, complete with love handles and mushy seats, the H2 proves there’s still one out there that can drop and give you 20". Despite the glitzy marketing that made the H2 this year’s ‘must have’ vehicle in the US, the car had to live up to the Hummer brand name. Fortunately it does.

"The H2 proves there’s still one out there that can drop and give you 20"

Capable of negotiating a 16-inch vertical wall, fording 20 inches of water, ascending a 60% incline and traversing a 40% side slope, the H2 can walk the walk too. Despite its unnerving girth, the H2 borders on unstoppable when taken offroad. The short front and rear overhangs make ascending and descending steep hills and deep gullies child’s play. With nearly ten inches of ground clearance to call upon and almost unbelievable levels of wheel articulation, the H2 will rarely have to resort to its protective underbody skid plates. The relatively narrow windows make visibility an issue when really pushing the limits but on these occasions you should have a spotter outside helping you through. The four-speed automatic transmission splits power 40/60 to the front and rear wheels under normal driving conditions. Switching to ‘4 Hi Locked’ splits the front/rear bias 50.50 while another button on the dash then separates right and left sides into a 50/50 split. If this set up can’t drag you out of the stickiest of situations, ‘4 Lo Locked’ alters the settings of the electronic throttle to assist low-speed crawling. A dual-level traction control system allows the H2 to continue even if only one wheel can get a purchase. All this will be academic to many H2 buyers. Most UK prospective customers will be looking for something a little more exotic than a BMW X5 or a Range Rover and assuming they are unintimidated by the car’s six foot nine width (excluding mirrors), huge thirst and limited availability, they may well like what they see. The interior has been styled in a very modern, industrial way, certainly a long way removed from the charmless military functionality of the original Hummer. Eight-way power adjustable seats, a Bose stereo system, dual-zone climate control and leather trim afford a touch of luxury but like its big brother, the Hummer H2 doesn’t offer MPV levels of passenger accommodation. The three-passenger rear bench seat is fine for two average adults, but the contoured shape of the centre seat makes three abreast seating a little uncomfortable. A full sized spare wheel occupies a big proportion of the rear cargo area, leaving only enough room for a single seat in the third row. For such an expensive vehicle, some of the materials used are a little disappointing. Thin grey plastic abounds and the console-mounted shift lever may look like it was milled from a billet of solid aluminium but give it a quick wobble and you’ll realise it’s also made of plastic. Piloting the Hummer H2 through city centre streets is a disconcerting process. You begin to map the city out in terms of width restrictions, multi-storey car parks that prove off limits and so on. Low-slung sports cars disappear alongside, with only the huge mirrors preventing a Lotus Elise-shaped test to the H2’s clambering ability. Out on the open road, the H2 is more amenable, the brakes inspiring confidence and the ride proving not overly wallowy. Due in no small part to the 35-inch all-terrain tyres, the featherlight steering lacks a bit of road feel. Still, we don’t criticise a Lamborghini for its pitiful wading ability, do we? Therein lies the problem. The Hummer H2 is a white-knuckle handful in the city much as a Lamborghini will be a fish out of water on a cross-country course, but nobody in their right mind would take the supercar boulder hopping. Here in the UK, the H2 will sadly be used as an urban weapon of mass distraction rather than the monster all-terrain vehicle it genuinely is. There are legions of Sierra Club-style Hummer haters out there but we’re not amongst them. If you do feel tempted to indulge, just do it for the right reasons. You’ll thank us afterwards.

Facts At A Glance CAR: Hummer H2 PRICE: £48,995-£51,795 – on the road INSURANCE GROUP: 20 CO2 EMISSIONS: 412g/km PERFORMANCE: Max Speed 110mph / 0-60mph 7.8s FUEL CONSUMPTION: (combined) 16.2mpg STANDARD SAFETY FEATURES: Twin front & side airbags, ABS WILL IT FIT IN YOUR GARAGE? Length/Width/Heightmm 5169/2062/2012